On Lonely Girl Games

Most likely, you do not know what a lonely girl game is. You wouldn't know one if you saw one. But it's entirely possible that you have, indeed, seen one in progress. Here are a few examples of lonely girl games in progress that may have seemed like something else altogether.

1. It's late at night, and an oddly dressed young lady, with one leg in pink striped tights and the other in green tights, is walking down a city sidewalk alone. She wobbles back and forth as she goes, then straightens out for a few seconds, and then goes back to weaving. You may think, "Poor girl, she's drunk. She probably tried to pick someone up at a bar and had no luck." Of course, this could be the case. But she could just be a lonely girl, playing The Blind Game. The Blind Game consists of a lonely girl finding herself a near deserted stretch of sidewalk. This is key. A lonely girl may be accustomed to receiving unwanted attention and stares, but this does not mean that she seeks them out. The next step is to take a deep breath and close one's eyes. The lonely girl must keep walking for a prescribed period of time, usually from 10 to 20 seconds, depending on just how lonely she's feeling. The only goal of the game is to see if she can do it. Bumping into something in no way constitutes a loss, only opening her eyes before the time is up will result in a loss. The Blind Game is primarily one of bravery.

2. Many people read on the subway. But not everyone repeatedly flips pages back and forth, peering at the binding. Only lonely girls do that. You may mistake the lonely girl playing this game, Dividing the Book, for an impatient reader who doesn't care enough about literature to find out things in due course. But the lonely girl is not concerned with finding out what happens next ahead of time. The lonely girl is trying to ascertain, percentage-wise, how much of the book she has read. The lonely girl knows that it is best to divide up the book into equal sections. The lonely girl does not want to find herself stuck somewhere with no book left. Dividing the Book, in theory, can extend to other parts of the life of the lonely girl. For instance, the lonely girl may find it beneficial to divide up unpleasant parts of a day into bite-size sections, in order to periodically note, "I am eleven twelfths of the way through this unpleasant situation." The lonely girl is nothing if not in control of her time. And she has a lot of it.

3. It is likely that you work in an office with at least one lonely girl. Here's an easy way to find out -- watch people type. You will probably agree that most people, by their mid-twenties, are fully competent typists. The lonely girl types as well if not better than everyone else, so pay attention. Pointer Finger Typing consists of training oneself to type with only one's pointer fingers, and going back from left to right with every letter. The challenge lies therein, as this is obviosuly not the easiest way to type. One sure way to tell if this is a lonely girl game will be if the player is giggling as she types.

These are just a few of the myriad of Lonely Girl Games. Please do take care not to misidentify them. If the girl in question is fashionably dressed, looking around waiting for people to hit on her, and doing glaringly 'quirky' things, such as taking pictures of derelict buildings, or teaching themselves to play the ukelele in public, or wearing fairy wings. These are not lonely girls, they are imposters. Ignore them. Not that you should approach a lonely girl unless you are prepared. But that's a lesson for another time.